Technical glitches can take the All-In far out!

 How often do technical glitches really bog you down and ruin your day? Technology has come so far, it rarely is bad enough to really ruin a day any more. 

BUT...once in a while it can happen.

For the past month, there have been issues with the hosting of this site. It took ten+ hours over several days to rig a solution. It's not even a great solution but one that suffices. 

Can you relate to how frustrating that is? I bet everyone who reads this can relate.

Glitches spoil an all-in mindset. The key is to get the mindset back where you want it to be. Do not let tech or errors or anyone own your mindset! Right?

That's what I had to keep telling myself this last month.

Remember the three guys who annihilated the copier in the movie Office Space? 

I did not want to turn into those guys. Nor did I want to speak rudely to the tech folks trying to help figure it out. 

It's important to have go-to strategies for staying All-In, especially when surprises or negative events occur. 

All-In doesn't mean you don't feel the feelings though. It just means you don't let the feelings get the best of you causing you behave in a way contrary to your core values. 

That's it. Luckily the All-In mantra helps!

Keep on living and leading All-In,

Kelly

All-In role model: the high school principal with a side gig at Walmart

"He's there when you least expect it but when you need him the most," a student said of Mr. Henry Darby, the high school principal who works a night shift at Walmart for extra money to help students in need.

Nearly all of his students (90%!) live below the poverty line with some sleeping under bridges or in their cars. Imagine for a moment how such circumstances affect teenagers—their minds and spirits. Would you be able to focus all day and do homework while living under a bridge?

If you struggled to work from your kitchen table next to a fully stocked refrigerator last year, give it some thought.

Mr. Darby loves his students and sees them for who they are, not where they live. He calls them “the best of the best.” His love compelled him to take a night shift at Walmart so he could help his students and families more. All of his Walmart salary goes toward helping others.

He gets emotional talking about his students in the video. He wants them to learn the three R’s: Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships. He is a spectacular role model of all three.

Mr. Darby’s only request of his students is kindness, “Learn to help others. That’s one of the greatest things we can do as human beings.”

His love for the students comes across so clearly, Walmart was inspired to donate $50,000 to his effort. All of the funds will go the same place his Walmart salary goes: to the students in need.

Watch the video and notice Mr. Darby’s leadership.

He is a modern leader brining out the best in the students, community, and now that his story is out, all of us.

Three questions we can ask ourselves to boost our leadership...

1. Who do you care about the way Mr. Darby cares about his students? Anyone?
2. How can you be like Mr. Darby for those people?
3. How can you model the 3 R’s of Rigor, Relevance, and Relationships?

Be worthy every day, like Mr. Darby. Remember, as he says, helping others is the greatest thing we can do as human beings.

If you want to join Mr. Darby's support for his students, click here to donate.

 

(Source: South Carolina principal takes night job at Walmart to support struggling students by Drew Weisholtz posted January 29, 2021 on The Today Show website)

Reflect on 2020 to be All-In in 2021

Happy 2021 All-In Leaders!

A few folks requested guidance about how to reflect on the end of 2020, so here is what I provided. 

In just 13 questions you can ponder last year and move forward into 2021. The general idea is not to get bogged down in the past but to reflect honestly and start building momentum toward 2021.

In addition to these questions, I list the good and bad things that happened during the year. Just a bulleted list without details (not re-living the emo of them all). My lists mix personal and business because they get listed in the order items come up, but some people prefer to do the exercises separately.

It is helpful to reflect on last year to fully grasp the lessons and loves to bring into the new year.

I have been doing this, and studying it, since it was a sixth grade assignment. 

High-performance is not an accident, and neither is living a fulfilling life.

I am excited to share more with you soon so you can take the reflection further into 2021! Let's make 2021 our most All-In year yet!

Happy Achievers are All-In!

A few months ago, a publisher invited me to contribute to a book about habits that helped me in life. Steven Samblis, CEO/ Founder of Envision Media Partners, had a vision for his book to include 100 people he wanted to share for others. What an honor to be included! The one I wanted to include came to me immediately and I sent it along.

The way Steven spoke of his book reminded me of the way I spoke about the All-In book when it was in the works. Remember it? If you've been around here for a while, you remember it, and we probably met at a conference or corporate event when I spoke about The 5 All-In Strategies of High Performance.

The Happy Achievers mindset is similar to the All-In one. If you're here, you'll like the new book too.

The new book, 1 Habit™, is filled with 100 Habits from the World's Happiest Achievers™. 

As Steven says, "Pick just 1 Habit™ from the book, and it will change your life forever. Pick 5, and you may just change the world."

Buy 1 Habit™ today for yourself, your family, your kids, co-workers, and all the people in your life that you truly care about. 

You can learn more about it at www.1Habit.com and purchase it via Amazon here: https://amzn.to/2U0owmo

Let me know if you agree the Happy Achievers are All-In!

Kelly

Did The Purpose Driven Life fail?

In 2002 a book called The Purpose Driven Life was published. Within five years, it had sold 30 million copies. I remember being surprised at the time by the vast popularity of Rick Warren's book. Were so many people really searching for something bigger than themselves? Did 30 million people really wonder what on earth they are here for, as the subtitle reads? Yes! Yes, and in fact, the book was used to end a hostage situation when a woman read from the book to her captor in 2005. (source)

Since we spend more hours of our average day at work than anywhere else, it makes sense that the search for purpose would include careers and workplaces.

Fifteen years later, I wonder if everyone found what they were looking for?

Did the 30 million people who bought the book complete the 40-day exercise? Did 30 million readers find their purposes? Are 30 million people thriving 15 years later in their personal and professional lives?

My guess is no. No, the exercise was not complete. No, 30 million people did not find their purposes. No, those 30 million are not thriving in all aspects of their lives.

If they were, surely the engagement survey results, trust barometers, employee morale, and workplace cultures would indicate it.

Let's not be too hard on the purpose seekers. Here are two factors to consider:

1. Our individual purpose changes over time. My purpose as a new entrant to the workplace at 22 was different ten and twenty years later. Our purpose evolves, and our search for it needs to as well.
2. Our purposes are intertwined. If you work along side people who see the greater meaning of their work, you probably will see it too. The opposite is true too. The 30 million readers of the book 15 years ago have been joined in the workplace by a new generation, and we're all working together with our diverse purposes. The variety impacts organization culture, especially when the leaders are aware of it.

The All-In Way™ is about bringing your whole self to work: purpose and all. Let's see how we can incorporate more of our whole selves into our workplaces. Check out a new forum starting in Kansas City this fall: Living the Spirit at Work.

If you are looking for your purpose, or you have found it and want to incorporate it at work, join the forum to discuss and reflect on it. Our purposes evolve, and this forum supports the search. (Mark your calendars for September 21, 2017 and watch for more details soon.)

Obviously, some people read the book and continue to attribute great life changes to it. If you have such a story, please share it.

3 Ways to ruin rewards and recognition

A professional colleague recently shared her story of being summoned to the executive conference room of her employer. Normally such a summons would spark nerves, but she knew something good was about to happen. Laverne* and a teammate, Shirley, had just completed a big project that brought compliments from their client. Laverne was excited and eager to hear from the management who normally attended such meetings.

When she arrived to the conference room, Laverne was greeted by her supervisor. The supervisor’s boss, Lenny, also was there but did not speak to Laverne. The executive spoke to Shirley because they had worked together longer but did not address Laverne upon arrival, while recognizing the accomplishment, or upon their departure.

While bestowing a nominal reward to the pair, Lenny made three crucial errors:

1. He never looked at Laverne
2. He misstated Laverne’s contributions
3. He mocked the dollar amount of the award

When Laverne told me the story, she said it still irked her even though it had happened weeks ago. She said she would not have cared that the write-up was incorrect if the presentation had been kind and sincere.

Management failed to capitalize on the opportunity the situation offered. Lenny could have solidified a bond with a super employee while he enjoyed reminiscing with a long-time coworker, yet he missed it. He could have inspired two superstars to continue their strong performance, yet he did the opposite. He could have motivated two staff members, yet he became a laughingstock as they shared their story with other coworkers. He became a laughingstock and so did the award.

What the company intended as a sincere gesture failed because management did not buy in to it, or was too stressed to execute accurately, or was unable to recognize the real opportunity in front of him. The reward and recognition backfired because of the delivery.

Laverne’s experience is not unique, unfortunately. 

Many managers treat recognition meetings as intrusions on their day. Check out the video below to see several different bad approaches to reward and recognition meetings. 

Real leaders will see reward and recognition meetings as great opportunities to cement employee commitment to the company. All-In leaders will see the value of the meetings and will treat the recipients of the awards with honor, which will in turn inspire them to keep performing well.

* Names changed

U.S. Coast Guard Academy Graduates: You deserve to be proud

Yesterday's commencement ceremony for the 2017 graduates of the Coast Guard Academy included a speech by the President, which many have said missed the mark when it comes to inspiration. A retired rear admiral in the US Navy posted his thoughts about the speech, calling it "shameful."

His post calls out the speech does not fill in the missing part: the inspiration. The same treatment was given elsewhere too. I heard about the  speech late yesterday, and it bothered me that the cadets who spent four years learning, training, and practicing for their careers would be sent forth feeling slighted instead of inspired.

Since it stayed on my mind, I checked out the Coast Guard today. Just today, the following items are in the news about the Coast Guard's activities:

• USCG unloaded $500 million worth of cocaine

• USCG conducted search and rescue exercises

• USCG ended live tissue training

• USCG searched for a missing plane carrying four people near the Bermuda Triangle

• USCG medevaced a man near New Orleans, and he is in stable conditions now

• USCG rescued three people from a sinking shrimp boat

That's just today's news! If you were commissioned yesterday, you are going to be working hard! The Coast Guard saves lives, protects waters, and guards America's borders. Your mission is action, not talk. You are expected to execute your missions guided by the Coast Guard principles of honor, respect, and devotion to duty. You have been trained to live by those principles. Upon your graduation, you commit yourself to those three principles, and you can be proud of doing so.

The Coast Guard Academy's website has a section dedicated to Family and Friends. It includes the following message:

Right now, you're probably filled with all kinds of emotions. Pride. Concern. Delight. Anxiety. And that's understandable. After all, your loved one is considering joining the Coast Guard. 

I wonder if your family and friends who joined you for your commencement and supported you these last four years remember feeling those emotions at the beginning of your journey. They knew you before you attended this institution, and they know you have changed because of it. Of all the emotions listed, I hope the one that stuck is pride.

Their concern and anxiety have likely diminished over four years because they know you were trained by experts and you worked hard. They were delighted you committed to the Coast Guard and are delighted you graduated.

But pride is deeper. Your loved ones were proud of you on your first day at the Academy, they were proud on your last day, and they will be proud of the work you will do every day of your career. I don't think parents of history majors like myself feel that same pride. Accountants, lawyers, and engineers are loved by their families and friends, but it's not the same as what your loved ones feel about you. Yours are proud. Yours will be proud of you every day.

You make all of us, the public, proud. The public might not know much about how you do what you do, but we will know the results. We will hear stories about you getting drugs out of the country, rescuing workers from sinking ships, and giving families peace with information about plane crashes. The public needs you, and is grateful you took this journey at the Academy so you can be commissioned into the Coast Guard.

When we hear the stories, your names won't be mentioned. We won't know, but you will. You deserve to be proud of your graduation, and you deserve to be proud of the work you will do to protect the United States of America. 

Photo credit to CGA

The worst opening sentence for an email

Exploring Twitter early this morning, I was jolted to attention by this headline:
  

We Need to Ban ‘Sorry For the Delay’ From Our Email Vocabulary
Don’t apologize for not being glued to your inbox.

Guilty! I admit to opening emails that way two or three times a day. Apparently, many others do too, and it turns out we are sabotaging ourselves.

The Twitter post led me to a brief post by Shelby Lorman on Trive Global. Lorman’s insights were gleaned from a post on The Science of Us by Melissa Dahl. Dahl quotes others, which led me down the rabbit hole of research on the topic.

The bottom line is that our well-intended apology sets us up for failure later because it tells senders to expect immediate action in the future. We are inadvertently damaging relationships, sabotaging productivity, and depleting morale.

One study Dahl quoted said people open emails within six seconds of arrival. Imagine the effect of that on productivity and performance for someone who receives just 25 emails a day. How many do you receive? Neuroscientists and psychologists can explain why we open emails upon arrival—something about endorphins and connecting with people—but, let’s focus today on understanding the impact of the bad habit and what we can do to stop it.

In addition to setting unrealistic expectations, we sabotage our own productivity by reacting to every email with urgency. A study in Fast Company said it takes 23 minutes and 15 seconds to re-focus on what we were doing before we opened the email or handled any other interruption. No wonder people are stressed out by the end of the work day!

Obviously, the impact of over-promising unrealistic expectations to others is two-fold. First, we prompt them to wait for our responses, which may reduce their productivity. When our response cannot be immediate, we will have let them down. Second, we stress over the prospect of letting others down.

A second impact of reacting to every email with urgency is sabotage to our own productivity. It takes 23 minutes and 15 seconds to re-focus on what we were doing before we opened the email or handled any other interruption. No wonder people are stressed out by the end of the work day!

All that over-promising and under-performing means we are not living All-In. 

I think this morning's tweet shook me because I try to live All-In by staying focused. Luckily, there are relatively simple things to do to improve. If you are ready to stop the bad habit and get back to living All-In, join me in taking these actions:

1. Stick to your plan for the day. Don’t let projects take longer than required by accepting email interruptions as urgent demands on your time.
2. Identify which emails need immediate action, some action soon, or no action at all. Try to read emails one time only, and after that one time, delete, file, assign a date, or forward to someone else to handle. Make it easy by setting up email rules so prioritizing is automated.  
3. Set a schedule for reading emails at work. Would every two hours suffice? Set aside time upon arrival at work, mid-morning, before lunch, mid-afternoon, end of day. Unless you are in the middle of an emergency, discipline yourself to wait.
4. Stop apologizing for reasonable response times. If necessary, consider replying to advise of your expected action and completion date when needed, but do not begin emails with an apology for not being at someone’s beck-and-call every minute.

What do you think?

If you have additional ideas to help break the bad habit, please share. The more, the better!

Two construction workers served soup and it changed the world

When two construction workers came into the Panera in Brookside (near Kansas City) for their lunch break January 30, 2017, little did they know they would change the world.

Panera was crowded at 12:30pm as usual, and the two men sat at a small circle table in the middle of the dining room. Their clothing and speed at which they ate indicated they were in the middle of a job and did not intend to take a leisurely lunch break. As they finished their lunches, they noticed a woman in a booth along the side of the room near their table.

The woman was tired, disheveled, and had a recently stitched injury on her face. She was alone in the booth and had leaned her head back to rest. Her table had a backpack and papers but no tray of food.

The woman raised her head as the two men were clearing their table. Although they had a project waiting, they approached her to ask if she were okay or if she needed anything. Their eyes and tone of voice showed genuine concern for the stranger who sat alone among the chatting customers.

The lady's response to their inquiry sent the men into action. One of the men served a glass of ice water with a lemon while the other retrieved a bowl of potato soup from the counter and delivered it to her. Then, in a heartfelt demonstration of genuine concern and compassion, they joined her while she ate her soup. One pulled up a chair and sat across from her but close to her table. The other man stood nearby, as both respected her space and gently walked the fine line between care and intrusion.

The men introduced themselves as Nathan and Chris. The woman said her name was Linda.

In the midst of the noisy, bustling restaurant, the three bonded for a few moments. The men did not pry, and Linda did not offer details of her situation. After about five minutes, the men bid Linda farewell so they could return to their job site on time.

Linda ate her soup and stayed in the booth for at least another hour.

A colleague and I were meeting in a booth near Linda. We had both noticed her upon our arrival, but her eyes were closed so we did not engage with her. As we watched the scene unfold, we talked about how good people are willing, even eager, to help those in need.

It was refreshing to see people help a stranger, and it was just as inspiring that she graciously accepted their help. That's what living and leading All-In is all about, as you know if you are reading this. All-In strategy number three is Notice Others. The men noticed someone in need and they cared. And she let them.

As they left and crossed the street, I noticed one of the men walked with a limp. He never told his story. He just ate his lunch, cared for a stranger, crossed the street, walked around the corner, and went back to work. He expected no fanfare and would have resisted had I requested to take their picture (I did not ask). Through genuine compassion, Nathan and Chris served water, soup, and fellowship to someone in need. They changed Linda's day, and they changed the day of the rest of us who watched the interaction.

Those two construction workers changed everyone in the Brookside Panera this week. They impacted their neighborhood, and that's how they changed the whole world.

Did Thanksgiving fly by?

Where were you one week ago? It was Thanksgiving. Did you spend it with family or friends? Did you tell others how thankful you are for the people you live and work with? Did you feel a little more grateful before the main meal that day? Were you thankful the Lions, Cowboys, or Steelers won their NFL games?

No matter how you spent the day, I hope you had a chance to ponder the good things in your life.

I wonder, though, how many people have kept the gratitude attitude since that day? Have you been as thoughtful about life’s goodness since Thanksgiving or did you return quickly to the routines of the week?

I traveled to Montana for the holiday, and I confess to returning to the routine upon the return home. It’s like I left the extra special feelings far away from home. I realized that earlier today during yet another conversation about how time flies. In the book Put Your Whole Self In!, I mention that time often flies the fastest when we are not paying attention.

Being thankful is one way to slow down so life doesn’t pass us by.

Counting blessings causes greater satisfaction in life. 

According to study results published a few years ago in The Wall Street Journal, adults who frequently feel grateful have more energy, more optimism, more social connections and more happiness than those who do not. They earn more money, sleep more soundly, exercise more regularly and have greater resistance to viral infections.

Another fantastic outcome of counting blessings is that it stimulates reciprocity. Research shows people who recognize how they have benefitted from help of others, eagerly help others more than ungrateful people do.

Since gratitude can stimulate more positive behaviors, we should seek to live more gratefully and inspire others to do the same whether we are managers or teammates. Right?

If you’re ready to count your blessings more deliberately, consider the list below and choose the ones that will inspire you the most.

1. Take 3 minutes each morning to ponder the good things in your life.
2. Write up to 5 things you’re grateful for in a journal each day. Consider listing people, experiences, challenges, material things, and skills.
3. Have a Gratitude Visit once a week with a colleague. While it is certainly okay to email to express appreciation, it often means more when delivered in person.
4. Express appreciation for the mundane, not just the monumental. The tendency is to thank those who go the extra mile, but don’t forget those who worked hard to complete the mile. Don’t overlook those who do the daily routines that keep this place, or your team, humming along.
5. Ponder what you don’t have. Be thankful for unanswered life requests or desires. (Did Garth Brooks’s song Unanswered Prayers come to mind?)

If the gratitude you felt a week ago has subsided already, consider taking a few actions to bring it back. Slow life down a little by counting blessings, and you will be more satisfied and will start a chain reaction of helpfulness. Ah! Now, that would be something to be grateful for every day!

Is your business motto "close enough"? Here's the one way to tell

Today I was treated to lunch at a mid-priced restaurant on Kansas City's Plaza. The restaurant has been known for outstanding service for at least 25 years, and today was no exception. Don't you love when the server is friendly and professional, the server knows precisely when to interrupt and when to back off, the food is delivered as order to the right person, and the bill is accurate and easy to process? The restaurant enhanced the experience with a colleague.

It was almost perfect.

The only mistake was one of miscommunication. (Aren't they all?)

This one was about Diet Coke. When the server took beverage orders, the requests were for water and Diet Coke. She returned with water and Coke Light. Coke Light is not Diet Coke. For the uninitiated, they might seem like the same thing. For Diet Coke aficionados, the difference would have been like serving lite beer to someone who ordered Guinness or Guinness to someone who ordered Diet Coke.

The restaurant is ultra service oriented. They care about the dining experience. People often chalk miscues like this up to disinterest, lack of caring, or laziness. None of those apply here. I also would not presume they get Coke Light for less than they could get Diet Coke, so I doubt it is financially based either.

This misunderstanding of their customer is based on good intentions, and fixing this could improve the dining experience of their customers who order Diet Coke. As a Diet Coke fan, I was surprised a different beverage was delivered then was disappointed when it was not tasteful to me.

When customers tell you what they expect (e.g. Diet Coke) and you deliver something close enough (e.g. Coke Light), what message are you sending them? 

The restaurant on the Plaza does many other things right, so the beverage did not ruin my experience today. It will not prevent me from going there in the future. But, I would not bet the same in all circumstances.

I would bet the message to customers at most organizations is, "We deliver close enough."

If your motto is not "close enough", listen to your customers. Talk, ask, listen, hear. Pay attention and listen some more. If you have not asked your customers about their experiences in a real way to enable them to share honestly and to enable you to hear them, your motto might be "close enough" whether you like it or not.

How you can ace Georgetown University’s challenge

Okay, so most of our SAT scores would not prompt Georgetown to offer us scholarships. Maybe we wouldn’t coast through with straight A’s. But, there is one challenge Georgetown just issued that everyone could ace. I think we all can do it.

In the usual rush through our day, we walk by people without noticing them. In fact, we might even have conversations without really noticing people. Think about the store clerk, coffee shop barista, or copy center employee. How often do you have time to truly pay attention to those folks? If your mind is focused on your day, it might naturally cause you to overlook people, assuming their minds are just as pre-occupied. There is no negative intention, and probably no rudeness either.

All In strategy #3 is Notice Others. Stop letting what’s on your mind cause you to overlook others. One business student at Georgetown did just that. Mr. Bellamy and Mr. Batchelor both have nightly routines at Georgetown’s library. Mr. Bellamy studies at the library, and Mr. Batchelor cleans it. One recent evening, Mr. Bellamy stuck up a conversation and what an All In experience happened after that.

It turned out, the janitor had similar ambitions as the business student. The janitor makes great curry chicken and wanted to open a business. The business student used his skills to help his new friend get started. Now, Mr. Batchelor’s chicken is famous on campus and he is on his way to operating a successful business.

The story doesn’t stop there, however. Here's what happened at Georgetown:

Mr. Bellamy noticed even more people on campus—cashiers, cooks, cleaning staff, and more. He and his friends started listening to the stories of the people working on their campus, and they began to help some of them. One man is going to visit his family in South Sudan for the first time in 45 years, thanks to help from the Georgetown community.

Georgetown formalized the effort to create more opportunities for connections between staff and students, and they call it Unsung Heroes.

Georgetown is All In! They have habit #3 down! Their students issued a challenge for the rest of us. They challenge us to notice unsung heroes in our own lives. Are you in?

Can you slow down enough to pay attention to the people you come in contact with each day? Notice them, talk to them, listen and learn from them. Can you establish an Unsung Heroes connection program at your school or workplace? Maybe we all cannot beat Georgetown student’s SAT scores, but we can join them in living All In by noticing others.

(Source: Washington Post 10/13/2016) 

Happiness is over-rated

“Cut the happiness crap, Tyler!”

That’s what a coworker used to holler at me when I was cheerful at the water cooler at 7:00am each work day. He said it with a smile and proclaimed he was teasing, but it stuck with me. Twenty-five years later, I think that guy was on to something.

There is a lot written about happiness these days. Amazon has 22,329 books on the subject right now. A Google search found 46 million articles, with most promising to tell us how to be happier and why we should seek happiness. I have read a few articles about happiness, and I agree with much of what is researched and written about it. However, there is something missing.

There are three perspectives overlooked in the highly publicized search for happiness millions seem to be conducting, and they are worth pondering. 

1. The expectation to be happy. If we expect to be happy all the time, we will be thrown off when life takes an unavoidable turn. The fact is, life’s journey includes some detours once in a while. People get sick, companies close down, children become teenagers. Life happens, and it’s not always full of skipping through sunflowers whistling Zippity Doo Dah. When we expect to be happy every day, we either shove the sadness deep inside to hide it or we are overwhelmed by the bad stuff and get stuck in misery.
2. The pressure to be happy. The peer pressure to be happy causes stress and can damage relationships. When you’re struggling with one of life’s obstacles, and you turn to a friend for support, do you love it when the friend says, “You shouldn’t be disappointed by your manager leaving the company. The new one will be even better.” We don’t really enjoy someone else pressuring us to “get over it.” We all have feelings we need to grapple with, and we will do so in good time. Pressure not to feel the sadness is not helpful.
3. The lost opportunities caused by happiness. The expectation and pressure to be happy cause us to miss out on the benefits of adversity. In our effort to be happy every minute, we are likely to take fewer risks or deny a challenge facing us. Happiness can prevent us from rising above obstacles, which is unfortunate because there are few feelings better than those experienced after surmounting an obstacle or staring down a challenge. We rob ourselves of those feelings by trying to stay happy all the time. 

When we deny life’s detours or go out of our way to avoid them entirely, we are telling ourselves a few things. We’re saying, “You’re not capable of overcoming that obstacle.” Or, “You’re not good enough to figure out a new way.” Or, “No one cares if you reach the destination.”

Let’s not sabotage ourselves with such negativity. Instead, let’s face the reality of all situations and let’s face challenges head-on. Look forward to the sense of accomplishment, don’t avoid it. We don’t have to “cut the happiness crap” completely. Let’s just keep it in perspective.

The big favor FOMO can do for you

The annual transition between Summer and Fall offers an opportunity for two actions: to reflect on the year and to identify how to spend the last three months of it. Are you pleased with your year so far? Are you well on the way toward accomplishing the goals you had in mind? Or, did you miss out on something you would have liked to do?

If the reflection brings to mind what you missed out on, you might suffer from FOMO: Fear Of Missing Out.

In the five-minute video, Dan Ariely, Duke University Professor of Psychology and Behavioral Economics, shares what FOMO is and how is causes regret.

He explains so clearly how we are affected when we barely miss our goals versus when we are off by a long shot. You might be surprised which one we prefer, according to the research.


Usually FOMO is discussed in very negative terms. It does spark regret afterall. But, it can do do something great for us too. The big favor FOMO delivers is the opportunity to change. If the only time you ponder what you're missing is when it's too late, you'll miss opportunities to change.

If your Facebook feed is full of friends' posts about their summer vacations to Europe, and you wish you had made time for one, make time now. Can you still take a trip this year? Or, plan one into 2017 before it fills up too. If you can't fit one in this year and you don't want to plan around one next year, then ask yourself if you really want a European trip.

It might turn out that you don't have FOMO. You have NFM instead: Not For Me. I just made that up, and it means you can be glad your friends had those trips but you don't want one. Obviously, there would be no need to tell them that. It's just for you to use to re-frame how you viewed your Facebook feed.

From now on, when you feel FOMO, pay attention to it. You might decide you really do what to do whatever is causing the feeling, so you make it happen. Or, it might turn out that you are content to skip it. Either way, you will decide. And, that is the favor of FOMO.

3 ways leaders are like pizza

In a meeting this morning, a colleague spoke about the importance of rest. Mimi Gatschet (Founder of Art in Connection) talked about the importance of taking a break, and she equated it with pizza dough.

My dear Italian friend spoke about making homemade pizza dough and the way the ingredients work. Mimi described the way dough has to be worked so the ingredients come together, then the dough needs to rest overnight. After the rest, the dough is malleable and ready to become a tasty pizza.

What a terrific analogy!

Yes, we need to take breaks and turn our brains off so they can rejuvenate. The rest also enable us to tap into our strengths better, just like the ingredients of the dough do.  But, the dough is not the pizza. It is the foundation of the pizza. It needs more to become a pizza, just like we do.

Here are the 3 ways leaders need to be like pizza:

#1: Start with a solid foundation. 

In pizza, it’s the dough. In life, it’s the values, perspective, EQ, and personal make-up. Like Mimi said, we need to mix the ingredients in a way that enables them to work together and become the foundation of greatness.

#2: Enable collaboration. 
Collaboration is key because it takes more than dough to make a pizza. Similarly, it takes more than one leader to make a workplace thrive. Add the right ingredients. “Right” is key because what’s right for one is not for another. Just ask my husband. He likes spicy meat on pizza, while I like a variety of veggies and sometimes even pineapple. We always order half-and-half, and neither of us minds. Could workplace compromises become as simple? Obviously, many workplace challenges are not as simple as pizza. In those cases, select what is right for the Mission, and remember, there can be more than one right choice.

After selecting the right toppings, let them do their work. On pizza, we let the cheese melt all over the top so we can enjoy the wonderful flavor combination. At work, foster collaboration and empowerment. It takes more than dough to make a pizza, so be selective about the ingredients then enable let them be their best.

#3: Expect some heat before greatness. 
Once a pizza has been made, it’s still not ready to be devoured. It needs to bake. Baking brings out the best in the whole combination, just like the heat, or pressure, of deadlines and client demands brings out the best in most teams. Don’t be thrown off by some heat. No team holds hands singing Kumbaya throughout the entire project. But, don’t worry, a little heat can help a team rise and become its best.

Lead like a pizza: start with a solid foundation, collaborate with the best, and thrive after challenges. One last word of caution: In accordance with the pic from a friend, leaders don’t try to please everyone…you are not a pizza.

Lead like a pizza and you'll be All-In!

Can you think of additional similarities between leadership and pizza? Add to the list below.

One man, six photographers, astonishing results

Canon Australia set up an experiment to see whether photos of the same man would develop differently based on information provided about the man to the six different photographers.

Here’s how it turned out:

Very interesting, right? The obvious lesson is not to judge a book by its cover. But, let’s take it a little further. Let’s be more conscious of how information from others affects our perceptions. Think about how you act when someone else tells you their own perceptions of a colleague or customer.

I was reminded of this a few weeks ago when a friend’s fifth-grade daughter prepared to return to grade school after the Christmas break. Her teacher went on maternity leave, so she had a new teacher coming in at the break. The teacher was new to the class but had worked there for a few years. The little girl asked around to find out how other kids liked the teacher. Of course, some did not like the teacher.

The little girl became very upset and was not looking forward to returning to school after the break. It took my friend quite some time to calm her daughter so she could think clearly. Her mom warmly suggested she give the teacher a chance and make decisions based on her experiences. Mom’s magic motivation did the trick, and it worked out fine. 

Once in a while we all might need to take a step back, give people a chance, and decide whether they are valuable teammates, wise advisers, or good friends based on our own experiences. We might even need to do that more than once with the same person. Holding on to mistakes clouds judgment sometimes.  

We might need to do the same when someone else opines on an innovative idea. We see it all the time, don't we? When a new idea is brought up, the first words often uttered to do with why it won't work or how we tried that ten years ago. Let's be better about seeing things in a new way, rather than how everyone else sees it.  

The sad part about this whole experiment is that we miss out on the greatness of other people or ideas because of how we perceive them. The good news is that we can control that ourselves and not miss out any more. 

You may be wasting time at work without even knowing it

We all need a break now and then. We need to call home, write the list of errands to complete on the way home, or email a professor coursework due that night. Taking ten or fifteen minutes once in a while to handle personal business is not wasting time at work.

Of more concern than a few minutes now and then is when time is wasted without awareness.

Here are a few examples:

When entering a division meeting, a colleague within David’s division asks him how a project is going. The colleague, Glenn, is not David’s supervisor but is someone he has worked with on other projects. David happily tells Glenn all about the project as they walk into the meeting and get seated next to each other. Glenn emails David an idea about the project the next day. David replies that the idea is very helpful and will be considered as the project proceeds. He includes something about keeping Glenn informed about the project going forward. Glenn responds that he looks forward to keeping in touch about it.

How could this situation lead to wasting time?

Here’s another one.

A five-person team is working on a project. One teammate, Pauline, writes an article about it for the intranet site at the team’s request. It is an internal article, not an external one or a promotional piece. Pauline sends the article to all teammates for review. One teammate sent the article to his own supervisor to get his input.

How could that lead to wasting time?

Here’s one more.

Peter and Mary were asked to create and deliver a new training course for their division. They have weekly meetings to discuss actions taken thus far and next steps. After the weekly meeting, they divide and conquer with each doing whatever task they named at the meeting. When they get the first draft, they will set a time to meet with the division head about the program and will take it from there.

How could their approach waste time?

Okay, one more.

Jill is working on a proposal due in three days. She just found out one of the most important subcontractors, with unique skills needed for the solution, backed out today. Without a key area of the solution covered, Jill needs to decide how to proceed. She can get a new subcontractor to replace the one that exited the proposal. Or, she could advise her management team that the proposal cannot go forward.

How would either of those options impact Jill’s time? Or, others’ time?

Even with good intentions and the culture of trust at the forefront of our minds, it is not always easy to spot the potential for wasting time. The following ideas can help us avoid spending time ineffectively:

Stop winging it. Nearly all projects need some kind of plan. Whether it is ten pages long with timelines and a team or it’s a list of five bullets, every project needs some thought in advance. Winging it rarely leads to efficiency, and more often causes swirl. At minimum, write a list of tasks needed to be completed and dates for each. Don’t rely on memory for work if you’re trying to be efficient or at the top of your game.

Understand your span of authority. We all have a certain span of authority with our positions. Understand yours and gain input from others as needed. The tendency to gain input for everything can slow teams down. With that said, however, be absolutely certain you have the experience to operate within the span given. If you are attempting something new or making a decision that affects more than one or two people, get support. Seek guidance from colleagues with more experience often; however, do so without relinquishing your responsibility for the decision.

Say “Yes” first. When you work somewhere for a long time, it’s tempting to bring up history along with each new project or idea. Every day people say, “We’ve already tried that here and it didn’t work.” Or, “We have always done it this way.” Keep those historical experiences in mind and share them when ideas develop, not when they are first brought up. They waste time because the conversation ends up being about history, why it did or did not work, or how now is different. Save that battle. It might be unnecessary anyway.

Avoid the weapons of mass distraction. Turn off alerts for Facebook, Snap Chat, and other social platforms. Turn off email pop-up notifications, set a time to check email throughout the day instead of one at a time upon arrival, and create rules to manage incoming email efficiently.

Stop multitasking. Multitasking got trendy for a while, but research is proving it is wasting time. MIT’s Dr. Earl Miller is one of the leading researchers on multitasking, and his studies show there is no such thing. People are not really doing two things at once, they are switching rapidly between two or three things. That is causing errors, duplication of effort, and stress. We all have more than one task on our plates at the same time. Single-tasking, instead of multi-tasking, just means focusing on whatever you are working on at the moment. Work at a quick clip—avoiding distractions and interruptions—and complete the work. Bouncing all over the place wastes time.

Contribute well to meetings. If I had a dollar for every time someone complained about inefficient meetings, I’d be wealthier than last week’s Powerball winners. There is zero excuse for meetings without objectives and agendas. Even if both must be stated at the start of the meeting, state them. Identify the topics needed to discuss, plan an appropriate amount of time for each, and proceed as planned. If deviation from the agenda is needed, advise the participants. Holding people hostage is annoying and rude. Side conversations, being unprepared, and not following the agenda are too. Pay attention so topics do not have to be repeated, especially if you participate via the phone. Whether you are the host or participant, you contribute to whether the meeting is useful or a time-suck.

Be aware of how you spend time each day. They say time is a gift. Each day, we are given the gift of 1,440 minutes. Be selective about how you spend each one and don’t take any one for granted by wasting it without awareness.

What else helps you be efficient at work? Share more tips.

The new car smell of a new year

Today is the first day back to work for many people who took off last week to celebrate the holidays. Regardless of when our fiscal year begins, January offers us another opportunity for a fresh start. I started a new tradition of washing my car the first week of the new year, and it sure looks good. It smells good too.

The car wash business included a new car scent with the wash, so it engulfed me on this morning’s drive to work. The clean car inspired me to drive a little differently this morning. I drove a little slower in order to see what was coming up in case my route needed to be adjusted. I drove around puddles, which took me only a few feet out of the way each time. And, I was more mindful of other drivers who might splash on my clean car.

I wonder if we could bring that new car-inspired behavior to our work.

This year, could we stop rushing in order to improve our ability to anticipate what’s coming? Could we recognize errors, mistakes, and miscues sooner and adjust quicker? Could we stay focused on our goals (e.g. a clean car) and not let others distract or deter us?

I am going to get my car washed more often, and each time that new car aroma will remind me to keep my car clean and keep my focus sharp. While a car wash might not be the most ambitious of resolutions, those three behaviors are essential for a successful year.

Happy New Year, Everyone! Let’s make this our favorite year yet!

Goldilocks and the new year

Happy New Year Everyone!

Welcome back from the break. Some folks have said the break was too short. Others said it was too long. A few have said it was just right. The comments so far this week brought Goldilocks to mind.

Remember, Goldilocks and the three bears? One cup of oatmeal was too hot, another too cold, and finally one was just right.

As we embark on a new calendar year, let's think more like Goldilocks.

1. Let's take risks like Goldilocks did. You have to admit, it was pretty risky roaming around unfamiliar territory. But, she didn't just roam, she even tasted the food. Let's put ourselves out there a little further than in the past and be less fearful of the outcome of taking chances.

2. Let's keep trying like Goldilocks did. When the first bowl of oatmeal (what is porridge anyway?) was too hot, she tried again. When the second try didn’t meet her expectations, she tried another time. Let’s be not hesitate to try more than once. Too often, we give up after just one try; however, if we try another time or two, maybe we’ll reap greater rewards.

One example of trying over and over would be with delegation. When you task a colleague with a project and it doesn’t come back perfectly, talk it over, and try again. The next time, it will be better, so try another time. By the time the colleague has done it three times, it will probably be just right.

3. Let’s respond quickly to mistakes like Goldilocks did. At the end of the story, Goldilocks was napping in the “just right” bed when the bears returned home. The baby bear found Goldilocks in his bed and cried out, “Someone has been sleeping in my bed—and here she is!” Goldilocks heard the bear cry out, and she quickly jumped out of the bed and ran away. When we have warnings that something is not going to work out, let’s learn quickly and get out. Oh sure, I just said, let’s try and try again. But, let’s be reasonable about it. There’s a difference between cold oatmeal and a bear in your face. When something major is wrong, it’s time to see the bear and get out.

An example of this one would be when a guest speaker presents and it doesn't go as well as planned. Let's not keep trying with that person, let's move forward quickly to someone else so as not to waste our colleagues' time. Another example would be a project plan. If the plan is not helping the team be efficient, it might be time for a new plan. Or, it might even be time to cancel the project.

As you get back in the swing of work this week, I hope you enjoy seeing friends, working on cool projects, and participating in new year activities.

With so much excitement a new year brings, you might find that the start to the new year is just how Goldilocks would want it: just right. 

The eye of the beholder

How many circles do you see in the photo?

At first glance, it might appear as if there are no circles, prompting some colleagues to think it’s a trick question.

Look again. There are at least sixteen circles.

Anyone see more than sixteen?

It is not a trick, but sometimes what is obvious to some is hidden from others. But, if we keep trying, we can see more than what is perhaps right in front of us.

When I was a kid, we made a banner for school that said, “Bloom where you are planted.” When I went to college, my mom gave me that same saying on a small cross-stitch canvas she made. Today, the same gift hangs in my kitchen as a reminder to look for more than the obvious. It also reminds me of the importance of blooming no matter what the circumstances.

When you choose to look at things in more than one way, instead of just the first way, you will see more. The perspective makes better decisions, attitudes, and behaviors possible.

Here’s another example of perspective: While every media outlet described self-proclaimed bachelor George Clooney’s wedding to an attorney over the weekend, the headline of a woman’s professional site reads, “Internationally acclaimed barrister Amal Alamuddin marries an actor.”

Life is all in the eye of the beholder.